20060822

GAS - Either Way You Deal with Bloat!

I have been hearing gasoline is going up another thirty cents a gallon (because of the broken pipeline, the conflict in the Middle East or just plain greed...). So far, we here in Arizona haven't seen it yet but I'm sure it's coming.
Sadly, every time I shove my plastic into that slot at the gas pump I remember gas being twenty-five cents a gallon when I was just getting my driver's license. I wish I could remember what bread cost or knew what my parent's paid for the house mortgage, but I think it might be a good thing I can't remember because just the difference in gasoline prices in 40 years makes me sick.
I dislike having anything artifically price inflated - it gives me gas! Overpriced fashion items that flaunt some celebrities name, perfume that carries the name of the latest dim-witted starlet (or even stud muffin!),etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. But in this ad infested world we are prisoners of our own avid and unnecessary consumerism and maybe we deserve to be milked for our discretionary income if we allow ourselves to fall prey to this type of capitalism.
When it comes to the necessities, however, we should not be duped, lied to or manipulated into artificially high price gouging. We live in a motorized world in this country. We do not have any decent mass transportation in place. Most of us work or attend school too distant to bike or walk. We are at the mercy of our cars and the costs of maintaining them.
We need gas and there's no quick answer or solution to that. But we don't need bloat. I think it's time we found an Alka Seltzer for the oil companies and all those in cahoots with them!
Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh, what a big lie it is!

20060818

I WANT TO BE A FRAG QUEEN!

Once upon a time little American girls would get all dressed up to go "downtown" or "uptown". We would put on our little dresses, Buster Browns or Mary Janes, petticoats and even litte white gloves. We dressed for dinner, church, holidays and whenever we went out in "public".
Now people don't even dress for the Theater (pronouned Thay-Ah-Tah, dahling). The only people who dress up today are politicians and drag queens. I want to dress up again. I want to do my hair, put on an evening dress and go out on the town in style!

Now since I could never be a politician I have decided to be a drag queen, which should be interesting because I'm a woman. But wouldn't that just make the job easier? I mean no fake boobs cause I got 'em in spades, I wouldn't have to shave or tuck any body part away and I already have all the make-up! I just need more diva style clothing, various and sundry wigs and hair appendages and I'm off and running!

I even have my Drag Queen name - they say you're supposed to take your pet's name and combine it with the first street you lived on - Shadow Chataqqua. Frankly, that bites so I'm going with Tootsie Tittzlinger. My favorite retro candy plus the inventor of the bra. Yup, that's right the man who invented the bra was named Titzling, although there is debate about that**. And I think I'll get myself a hot pink 1959 Cadillac, that seems to be an ideal car for a female drag queen.
Yes, the decision is made I shall become a female drag queen - dare I say Frag Queen? And I shall be called Tootsie Tittzlinger. Ladies and Gentlemen, TOOTSIE TITTZLINGER, Frag Queen Extraordinaire! She Sags! She Totters! She Drools! All in Six Inch Heels with a Feather Boa Dragging Behind Her Amble Behind!
Tootsie has left the building.

*Otto Titzling

**Okay, now Yahoo says a woman named Herminie Cadolle invented the bra, and this page says a woman named Mary Phelps Jacob did, but personally I can't believe any woman would have invented that binding contraption we're stuck with so I'm sticking with Titzling, a man. Fiction or not, it just fits into my picture of life as a woman better! And it makes for a better Fraq Queen name.

20060814

GIVE YOUR TOOTSIE A TOOTSIE!


I'm sitting here working on getting my website done and I'm munching on Tootsie Rolls. I've loved Tootsie Rolls since I first discovered them Trick or Treating. (Now there's another Pop Culture post!). Chewy chocolate that makes your mouth water to a level of flood. I find them now in those big plastic containers at Costco, but there was a time when you could buy them as penny candy. The came in two forms as penny candy - short and stubby and thin and long. For some reason I have always preferred the thin and long (I like my men that way too - and get your mind out of the gutter - I like slim tall men, okay?), - but I'll take the short stubbies (NOT men - tootsies) if that's all that's available. I never liked the five cent size - it looked too much like something I have to pick up with a baggie, if you know what I mean. But those penny candy sizes were just fine. I have been collecting wav, midi and mp3 files of old television themes, movie themes, sound bytes and commercials and I have several tootsie roll files. I'll call in and audio post it after I finish working today. Just another little snap to your memory synapses - hope it brings back a smile.
P.S. Tootsie rolls were the first penny candy to be individually wrapped in paper for sale - I found that on the Tootsie History page - I'm not that bloody old! And you can get them wrapped in Patriotic colors now. Well, time marches on.

20060813

THOSE BURMA SHAVE SIGNS!

Speed Was High - Weather Was Not - Tires Were Thin - X Marks The Spot - BURMA SHAVE!


I'm old enough to remember sitting in our '55 Chevy and reading Burma Shave signs on family vacations: Don't loose your head - to gain a minute - you need your head - your brains are in it - BURMA-SHAVE!
I remember those great pecan pralines we'd get at Stucky's and the soon to be run-down motels we kids loved because they had a pool, ice machines and a bed that shook, rattled and rolled for a quarter!
Ah, the joys of a summer car vacation in the Midwest with no air conditioning and bored kids. What were my parents thinking? But the memories of these trips lingers with me to this day tugging away at a corner of my heart and mind.
I saw a Stucky's on one of my last trips so I pulled in to wallow in a little nostalgia. Gone was the road side cafe, replaced by a fast food style order/pick-up counter. The restaurant had been swallowed by a run of the mill tourist trap complete with pre-paid calling cards. Yeah, they still had pecan logs and the pralines, but they just didn't taste the same - not rich and creamy but gritty and too sweet.
The phrase you can't go home again scrolled through my brain as I tossed the remainder of the praline into the garbage and I wondered if some Phantom adult from the year 2050 would be walking out of a McDonald's of the future with a "Big Mac for your X-Box Rehydrat-N-Heat" thinking "Man, this thing just isn't what I remember - guess you can't go home again" just like I had in the year 2006.
Still, some of the Icons remain, a little changed, maybe soon to be run down, but still kickin' and handing out tiny portions of the past for those curious enough to see.

20060812

American Pop Culture - Do we really have that much power?

OH THOSE AMERICANS!
Recently on a search for something to do with Pop Art or Pop culture I saw an article that said American Pop Culture was an evil influence. Well, isn't it nice to know we have that much influence?? This is obviously a cultural clash and we Americans have always been targets for this type of hoo-hah. I think it might be because of the richness and diversity of our culture. Because we value (the "we" I speak of here is the American people) individuality we have a largesse of individual styles. These can often translate into iconic elements of society and become Pop Culture. American Society on the whole is colorful, exuberant, and often boisterous - that does tend to get you noticed. If we are noticed, admired and emulated it is not our doing - we are just being "us" and because this is still a free country we are allowed to do that. If others choose to follow does that make us evil? Are we being "us" to have some nefarious purpose implemented in the world? No, we're just being who we are - Free, American, Individual, and Fun. Hooray for us! Now go blow your Oscar Meyer whistles up your Howdy Doodys if you don't like it! I have some classic TV to watch - I think Lucy is about to demolish a candy factory.