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THIRTEEN GOOD AND BAD THINGS ABOUT MOVING
1. BAD - You have to pack boxes upon boxes of crap you've accumulated and now that you're packing it you're wondering why the hell you never threw away that stupid dancing monkey lamp that your Aunt Agnes willed you!
2. BAD & GOOD - You start to think about things like that stupid lamp and you have to make decisions about whether you want to waste time and money to take it with you or just donate it to some dumbass person who can really use a dancing monkey lamp.
3. BAD - You have to change your contact information on everything. This is when you find out just how many companies know everything about you, including what kind of thong you prefer.
4. GOOD - You can just cancel some of those accounts and never have to deal with those snippy customer service people again, maybe.
5. BAD - Moving is back breaking work. It's boring work. It's tedious, dull, life-sapping and just plain drudgery.
6. GOOD & BAD - You're so busy with all that drudgery that you don't have time to cook so you have an excuse to go get a sack full of greasy French fries and Jack In The Box tacos which will then end up giving you indigestion and migrating to your butt.
7. BAD - You're going to break something while packing. It's a physical law.
8. BAD - You have to say goodbye to a lot of people you like.
9. GOOD - You can tell a lot of people you don't like just how much you really don't like them! Go ahead, you're moving a whole state away - what are they gonna do, follow you and beat you with that dancing monkey lamp they just bought for a buck at the Goodwill?
10 - BAD - You have to unpack all that crap you just packed up, wash it again and put it away - again!
11 - GOOD - You're putting it away in a brand new, clean home!
12. BAD - You have to wait - yet again - for the cable guy, the internet guy, the phone guy and all those other guys who say they're going to be there between 9 am and 1 pm but don't show up until Thursday.
13. GOOD - You get a fresh start, in a new home, in a new place that's filled with possibilities!
CALIFORNIA HERE I COME!
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