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13 Ways to Murder a Wild Peep

Easter is this Sunday and I made plans some time ago for a special dinner menu based on childhood favorites. Ham with baked yams was always the main course and deviled eggs were an absolute must because Mom didn't believe in wasting all those eggs we had colored - at least the ones that were eventually found!

We had tons of candy in our baskets, the requisite Chocolate Bunny (whose ears never made it past breakfast), jelly beans of all colors and, of course, Peeps! Now, Peeps - especially Wild Peeps - are absolutely the best when given a gourmet treatment - like using them on top of your sweet potato casserole instead of plain old marshmallows!

So, off I went on a safari to Wal-Mart to hunt for my Wild Peeps. Things went quite well at first but quickly went downhill as the native Peeps became restless and there in lies the story of a burgeoning Wild Peep rebellion and my becoming embroiled in a fight to the death for my Easter dinner!

There was an escape, I was attacked by a rare turquoise Peep, then Pixel was cornered and surrounded by threatening Wild Peeps. Peeps were sunning themselves under the heat lamp in my bathroom, swimming in my sink, they even went to a Beatles concert thanks to a Beatles tune playing on the radio and my Bobbin' Head Beatle Dolls! They were running amok in my home, rogue Peeps bent on revenge and revolt. (Photos will be posted tomorrow on my Tumblr Photo Log)

To protect my home and my loved ones and preserve the sanctity of Easter Dinner the Wild Peeps have to go. I write this post with murder on my mind!

I give you 13 ways to Murder a Wild Peep.

1. Choke it
2. Stab it with a knife
3. Smash it with a blunt instrument
4. Step on it
5. Drown it in the sink
6. Chop it up with a pair of scissors
7. Saute it in butter and a little olive oil
8. Run it over with your car
9. Flush it down the toilet
10. Put it in a blender on high
11. Blow it up in the microwave
12. Feed it to your dog
13. Eat it - with a nice Chianti and some Fava Beans

Tomorrow I plan to carry out the cold blooded murder of wild pastel peeps by the dozens. The video of some of my dastardly deeds will be posted Friday here. You may consider the video and this post my confession. I throw myself on the mercy of the court. My only excuse is temporary insanity caused by a massive sugar rush.

I'd like my last meal to be Ham, Yams with Toasted Peep Topping, Deviled Eggs and Peep S'mores.


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12 comments:

  1. Great idea for a list. My 13 is posted. Have a terrific Thursday.

    This list was cute!! I especially liked the prelude to the whole story...THEN the list. Very clever.

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  2. I like the humour in this. I've committed murder quite a few times on my blog, too :-)

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  3. LOL!! You are nuts! I love it.
    Happy T13!

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  4. My sons would add biting the peeps' heads off. Happy Easter!

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  5. Lots of interesting ways to commit peepicide! I think drowning them might be hard since I think they are natural floaters...

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  6. I like biting their heads off best!

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  7. I will share this list with my daugher because they are too funny

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  8. Thanks guys! I'm glad you're enjoying my suffering! Jeez, haven't you ever had a pest problem??? LOL!!!

    Be sure to keep up with the latest PEEPS IN REVOLT update at my Twitter!

    PS - Brenda - that's how I began to eat them, with the head!

    Anthony - we can share a cell, lol.

    Debbie - if you want to drown them you have to hold their little peeping heads under water!

    Muhahahaha!

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  9. A couple of those are not going to work because you know the peeps will just bounce back.

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  10. Alice - Hehehe, but I freeze them even if they're only stunned! Frozen Peep is better than no Peep at all - but that turquoise one? I'm gonna fry him in hot oil - dip him in batter and fry him up until he's all gooey and melty - I might even drop a few chocolate chips in with him!

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  11. Peeps are one of my guilty pleasures. Why would you want to murder these soft, sweet, little creatures?

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  12. Pjazzy - I'm sure you're speaking of farm raised, domestic Peeps. Wild Peeps are another creature altogether!! I hunted these myself on safari in Wal-Mart country, quite a jungle by the way!

    Don't miss my video tomorrow!!

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