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A hard, dry clump, that poor person did bake.
It's taste was strange and dry on the tongue,
And those hard dried fruits were truly no fun.
It was sent as a present, wrapped cheery and gay,
to an innocent person on that first Christmas Day.
Upon the first bite, their teeth cracked and fell
and that single fruitcake entered regifting hell.
So now it gets rewrapped in bright, pretty paper
Shipped out over and over in the "Regifting" caper.
So if you should see, in your mailbox some year,
A lumpy rectangle, start running in fear!
For you've been assaulted by the famous Fruitcake
that horrible brick some idiot did bake.
So, lock up your mailbox and leave for the season,
The dreaded Fruitcake is good enough reason!
(TeeHee) Poem Copyright 2007 by PopArtDiva.com
Long ago and far away, I loved to wake up on Christmas Day.
My heart would leap, then skip a beat and down the stairs my feet would leap.
Upon my fast landing, Kerplump, off the banister,
The sight that would greet me brought much joy and laughter.
For there, yes, there! Right in front of my eyes
Was a glorious, glowing Red and Green surprise!
A towering tree just glowing with light,
And piles of presents! What a glorious sight!
And next to the tree sat a glass, half empty
and some crumbs on a plate. Yes, Santa’d had plenty!
Then behind me I’d hear my siblings come pounding.
“Mom, Dad, Hurry! Come here! Santa’s come!” they’d be shouting.
So, sleepy and yawning, Mom and Dad would come down
While our little dog followed in leaps and with bounds.
When we were all gathered and the coffee was ready,
We passed out the gifts, singing Christmas songs (badly!)
Then in we did dive, grabbing box upon box,
Ripping paper and ribbons, saying, “I hope it’s not socks!”
Then later would come turkey dinner at five
With my favorite part, Mom’s homemade Pumpkin Pie!
Thus went my Christmas for years and for years.
Now, when I remember, I remember in tears.
For gone are my parents, those siblings, doggy friends,
And alone I remember these memories of them.
Yes, I remember the sounds of Mom cooking all night,
The smell of the turkey and the smell of Dad’s pipe.
I remember the laughter, the joy and the fun,
I remember my family as Christmas time comes.
Well, those were the old days! Now you get to stay inside where it's warm and cozy and you can leave the coat and mittens off - you can have a snowball fight on your computer! My, how times have changed!
My friend just sent me this via email. It's an online snowball fight game with Santa And the Elves, so if you want to waste a little time click here and enjoy! I got to level two and then walloped Santa one too many times.
P.S. It's not too late to shop for the Holidays at Amazon!
Forgive me if I get a little Grinchy and want to smack all the little Whos in Whoville, but I am so sick of all the holiday themed ads, commercials, tv shows and other corporate American schtick that passes for holiday cheer but is really just a badly disguised quest for merchandising.
It makes me want to either:
- Take a cruise to somewhere that has beaches, palm trees and cabana boys
- Close all the windows, lock all the doors and hide under the covers until Jan. 2nd
- Revert back to the past and live in a log cabin, cut down my own tree, decorate it with popcorn and cranberries, make my own gifts out of logs and Ma's Ingalls' old drapes, then hand a mug of hot cocoa to Pa Ingalls
- Convert to some cult religion that forbids red and green, holly, and jingle bells
Holy Pornography, Viagraman! Every good ad person knows that to sell product or services you have to appeal to basic human emotions. Fear and sexual desire are two of the strongest emotions and are, therefore, the most effective as advertising tools.
You can see the use of sex as a selling tool from the beginning of radio and television. Sure, we might not recognize it as "sexy" by today's standards, but believe me, the sex was there under the surface in just about every program or commercial or print ad. Do you remember those models used in car ads? Ever seen a just a woman's mouth eating a piece of fruit? Have you ever noticed the dilated eyes of female models? Do you remember the Noxema ads? How about the slow ketchup?
In today's world the sexuality is blatant, recognizable and aggressive but there is no more sex in today's marketing world than before. In the recent past sex was "suggested" and "implied", today it is out in the open. But let's face it, we all knew what they were talking about then and we can't miss it now! Heck, I'm convinced the cavemen were drawing those naked animals on those caves in Lascaux in order to sell their newest wheel!
No, sex is not new as a marketing tool. Just ask Cleopatra about the time she rolled herself up in a carpet and then had it unfurled in front of Julius Caesar - that woman new how to market herself! And for a brief moment in history she had the entire Roman Empire, a Roman Emperor, Egypt, and the use of a couple of pretty outstanding military armadas for her marketing efforts! And we just use it to sell soap?
And now a word from our sponsors - (that would be, uh, me)
TEN HAVE SEX - WHEN NINE IS NOT ENOUGH!
Well, time has marched on. In their ultimate wisdom to keep up with the times Parker Brothers, now a subsidiary of Hasbro, has done away with Monopoly Money! Yes, they have introduced the new Electronic Banking Monopoly! "Play faster without cash!" OMG! I now am faced with credit card banking in one of my favorite pop culture games!
I find myself fretting over having to apply for a Monopoly credit card. Will I even qualify? What will the interest rates be? Will they be as usurous as real life cards? What kind of fees do I face? What kind of credit limit will I be allowed? If I'm late with my payment will some little top-hatted banker with a monocle and cane grab $35 from my account for a late fee? What kind of over limit fee will I be assessed? If I fail to make my payments will I have to sell my properties during a real estate slump to get some quick cash? Will I end up in bankruptcy where some little repossesor game piece comes to take away my little Shoe, my houses, my railroads? Worse, will I be found guilty of credit card fraud for the false information I submitted on my game application and have to GO TO JAIL, GO DIRECTLY TO JAIL?
Where I used to contemplate a fun and worry free few hours of playing Monopoly, I now experience the stress and worry of the financial juggernaut of debt in a virtual world of play money! What used to be a fun and happy escape from the real world and a chance to be a rich real estate magnet hording thousands of pink, blue, green, yellow and orange play dollars has now become just a painful exercise in the vagaries of Big Finance.
Reality has come to Realty in the fantasy world of one of my favorite childhood past times. The little green houses are now owned by slum lords, the hotels are all owned by "The Donald", the railroads and utilities are bankrupt and receiving government subsidies, the jail is overcrowded, my Scotty has run away, the yellow cards are all tax bills and the "get out of jail free" cards have been replaced by the business cards of one-inch tall pewter lawyers who charge by the quarter hour!
It is a sad day for the imaginary world of board games and a sadder day for little plastic wallets and coin purses the world over. DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200 AND DO NOT ENJOY YOUR CHILDHOOD!
I am very excited to announce I was nominated for and accepted to the DIVA HALL OF FAME! I am in proud company there along with many celebrities such as Diane Keaton, Rosanne, Sharon Osbourne, Deidre Hall, Linda Hamilton, Sigourney Weaver, Rene Russo, singers Carly Simon, Carole Bayer Sager and Reba McEntire, and other accomplished Divas of the Baby Boom generation!
Since this is a Baby Boomer site featuring content of interest to Divas of maturity it counts as pop culture, don't you think? We Baby Boomer Divas grew up on the coolest of pop culture - many of us have become pop culture icons in our own right and we know the pop culture of the first half of the twentieth century because we grew up with it!
I went into Walmart yesterday to pick up some last minute stuff for my Halloween celebration and most of the Halloween products were gone - replaced by Christmas stuff! That's to be expected now days, but the Christmas crap was there way before Halloween and to add salt to my gaping monster wound - the Halloween stuff wasn't on sale yet!
Bah humbug to the retailers who have lost their sense of holiday timing! Boo to the panic and greed that attempts to play on our holiday emotions! The biggest shopping day of the year is no longer the day after Thanksgiving - it starts in September and goes through January, at least according to the minds of those who want our money.
I want my holiday seasons back! I want things to be the way they were when I was a kid and Halloween was Halloween and Thanksgiving was Thanksgiving and neither was a gateway to sneaking into our wallets for Christmas money in advance!
DEAR CORPORATE AMERICA! GIVE ME BACK MY HOLIDAYS IN PROPER ORDER AND GET OUT OF MY BANK BALANCE OR I'LL SIC SANTA'S ELVES, THE THANKSGIVING TURKEY AND THE GHOSTS OF HALLOWEENS PAST ON YOU!
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Every year this time I get really nostalgic. Being the "normal challenged artist" that I am, Halloween was always my favorite holiday. I loved the chance to dress up and turn myself into someone or something different. I loved the smell of fall in the air, that light crispness that just hints at the cold to come. I loved the colors of the fall leaves and the ground covered in the warm colors of mustard, rust, burgundy, and shades of green giving way to warm yellows and browns. I loved jumping in the piles of those leaves. And I loved Trick or Treating and the free sacks of candy!
Yes, I said sacks! I was a little pig filled with a truck load of energy just itching to run door to door and I had parents who would drive me to the "rich" neighborhoods where the good treats were! We were given pillow cases to hold our goodies, not the cute little pumpkins or holiday themed buckets kids tote around today. I don't think it was because my parents expected us to fill them up, it was simply an inexpensive and durable method of dragging candy around for several hours. But I saw it as a challenge to fill that pillow case up to the top with every imaginable type of sugar! I never made my goal of a "pillow case overflowing", but I mostly came home with a respectable haul of half a pillow. I would then spend the next few days sorting through my booty, trading with my siblings and stuffing myself sick until my booty was taken away by my mother to be doled out in proper doses.
I have wonderful memories of many past Halloweens and at this time of year I would wish myself young again so I could recapture the magic of Trick or Treating in the late fifties. But even if I could go back in age there is no going back in time. The world has moved on and has become the big monster that I used to dress up as. It is not safe to allow children to run rampant in our own neighborhoods because there is the very real possibility of a true life boogyman lurking behind one of those spooky doors. There very well could be a scary clown waiting to grab an innocent Trick or Treater or a Freddy Kruger lurking behind the fence.
The sad fact is the children of this day and age will never experience the innocent thrills of Trick or Treating the way it was. They will never be able to run through the night pretending to be a fairy princess or a pirate or a ghost, scaring themselves silly at every shadow that looms over them or any stray sound that sounds like a Wolfman howling at the moon. They are limited to sedately walking through a mall going from store to store with their teeny little pumpkin baskets, or attending a party that is chaperoned by adults who are too far from their own childhood to even toss on a simple costume.
There are no more cries of "Trick or Treat" on All Hallow's Eve echoing through the darkness. There is no doorbell ringing and a group of goblins and ghoulies waiting to plunge their little hands into a bowl of ghostly delights. There aren't any tiny little fairy princesses too scared to come up on the doorstep and the brave, brash pirates of days gone by have sailed off into the ocean of nights past. For most of us now Halloween is just the last day of October and not the magical doorway to excitement and adventure of a safer era. It's just a crying shame.
Please join me with a "Devil's In the Details" martini to toast the days gone by of Tricks, Treats and Scary Creeps and Goblins all in a row. . . . . Cheers to you, Boo!
Gas prices, food prices, housing prices - the cost of everything is soaring except my income! Do you remember when a loaf of bread was fifty cents? When a gallon of gas was less under a dollar? Heck, I remember buying a couple of gallons of gas to "cruise the Freeze" (back in prehistoric, pre-Bushes America) for under a dollar! You could get a McDonald's burger for 25 cents - which is probably what's it's worth today. Of course, the burger was the size of the quarter you paid for it.
It's getting so you can't afford to go anywhere, eat anything or live anywhere. It's sort of the unisex version of keeping them "barefoot and pregnant" maybe? Keep the people busy trying to survive and they won't interfere with your plans to take over the Universe? I don't want to cry "conspiracy" but hunger and cabin fever have driven me insane! I see the "hamburgler" behind every Bush and I'm hearing "let them eat cake - bread is too expensive" pounding in my calorie deprived brain!
This country is going to hell in a bread basket but I won't be here to see it - I'll have been confined to a loony bin way before it happens. . . . . oh, wait, they feed you, clothe you and house you in loony bins for free don't they? Oh no, I forgot, they quit doing that in the seventies. . . . .
It is an interesting phenomenon and one that defines the mind set of the 21st Century. Flash in the pan now speaks not just to passing fame or notoriety but the speed with which it passes by and it is in that speed of information download that a lurking danger awaits. On television the ads and program images flicker by so fast you're not sure what you're seeing. On the internet you are inundated with information coming at you with the speed of light. Images, words, and sounds are coming in so fast that no one has the time to listen, read, think or care about what those images, words, or sounds are about. They just want more - and if it's more crap they don't seem to care, just so long as it's more crap!
True content and information has given way to bling that flashes at you so fast you never really notice there's really nothing there to see. Real news has given way to infotainment, programming with value has been traded for the vicarious viewing of other peoples lives. Conversation and interaction with your fellow humans has given way to IMs, text messages and forwarded jokes masquerading as e-mail. We are in danger of becoming characatures of humanity, drones that move through life with no real thought, looking for the next addictive moment of thunderous and colorful drivel that carries a momentary thrill but no true worth. Drawn to the flame of the current celebrity of the second, lulled by the emptiness that accompanies fame without merit.
Mass Media has used the speed of modern communication to feed as much trash as possible to the greatest number of bodies available in the shortest possible time allowed. This has created an epidemic of an attention deficit disorder whose side effects are minds that cannot focus on anything long enough to form an opinion. What a boon this is to those who would control those terrible independent thoughts that are the beginnings of creativity and freedom. What a wonderful way to keep the status quo. Provide the peons with enough glitter and flash and they may never notice that you have stolen away their rights and freedoms. If you dazzle them into blindness they will not see you are creeping away in the night with their lives, hopes and dreams. Feed them the fodder of frivolous fame and they will never notice they are no longer free to think, speak or act like humans any longer. It's a good plan and all it will cost is 15 minutes of fame.
I had hip huggers that barely covered my butt and exposed my belly button, I had casual bell bottoms and formal bell bottoms for the night on the town. I even had bell bottoms on my blouse - big wide, flared sleeves that flapped in the breeze and made the sound of bat wings!
Bell bottom pants were originally the province of the navy - they were part of the uniform. Remember the little sailor on the cracker jack box? Yup, bell bottoms! How they snaked their way into my world of fashion I neither know nor care - I just refuse to give in them again. No way, no how, nuh uh!
Oh, and you can keep your platform shoes too - after 40 years my ankles are just now recovering from the damage caused by wearing those in the 70s!
I am no longer a slave to the dictates of the fashion world. I am, at 56, my own woman! Unfashionable, robed in baggy tees and jeans, wearing flip flops, comfortable and happy at last.
(The pants in the photo were worn by Janis Joplin)
An Ode to Penny Candies
When I was young,
once upon a time
I took my pennies
to the five and dime.
And there before me,
in such spendid array,
were candies galore
if I could pay.
Lined up by the dozens
wrapped in colorful papers
Were Red Hots and Black Jack,
Wax Lips, Necco Wafers!
There was Taffy, and Whoppers,
Double Bubble and Black Jack,
a Gazillion Gobstoppers,
and Chicklets by the pack
Tootsie Rolls and Teabury,
Mallo Bars, Chick-O-Sticks,
I grabbed all I could carry
and ran home to get sick.
All artwork and text copyright 2007 popartdiva.com
38 years ago today the Apollo 11 astronauts Neil Armstrong and Edwin "Buzz"Aldrin walked on the moon. Neil Armstrong gave a short speech that has since become one of the all time greats in history and pop culture:
"That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind."
Enjoy the transcript of the entire log from that historic day directly from N.A.S.A.
Scroll down to 109:24:13 for the famous quote.
I will always remember where I was when I watched man walk on the moon on national television in the summer of 1969. It was the year I graduated from high school - one small step for me - one giant leap for my folks, lol. But seriously, how can anyone forget?
I have always believed in our space program and I still believe in our need to explore our universe. Now, more than ever, we should expand our horizons and enlarge our expectations. Our dreams are our ticket to a better future. Dear N.A.S.A. - Thank you for all your efforts and your sacrifices on our behalf.
So, are you a Coke or a Pepsi person? Or are you too edgy and you gotta have an RC Cola? Do you argue over which one is better or which one has the best diet formula? Do you have to try every new flavor that comes up the pipe? Tempura Pepsi - for those of you who like a little fat with your sugar! Did you know that at the Coke store in Vegas (yes, they have stores!) you can taste different sodas from around the world? And trust me, some of them are wild rides for the taste buds.
And when you ask for a cola, don't you always say Coke? Woohoo for the best branding ever. We have become a "pop" culture. I don't drink water, tea or coffee all day but I always have my "bah" full of Pepsi. (Yes, I am a Pepsi drinker - not a Coke fan - Okay Pepsi , send me lots of money for the plug so I can buy more Pepsi!) I'm a Pepsi fan but I still find myself asking for a Coke when I go out to eat. I'm happier when it's actually a Pepsi, but I will drink a Coke if given no alternative. Of course, Coke was the first and it was originally developed as a medicine!!! Yup, check it out. My mother used to give us Coca Cola syrup for upset stomachs - to this day I want a coke when my stomach hurts.
And when did it stop being Coca Cola and just become Coke? I seem to remember the big debate over that and the bruhaha over changing the formula. I do remember that at one time I liked Coca Cola better than I do now and it wasn't Coke then. But maybe I just liked anything with lots of sugar - I think I was around 12.
Is it "pop" or is it "soda" or is it "soda pop"? Depends on which part of the country you're from.
I wonder how the pioneers survived without artificially flavored caffeine and sugar?? Those poor people - living without electricity or running water is nothing to not having a nice cold Coca Cola in hand after a hard day of plowing.
Yes, we are a Pepsi Generation, we know The Real Thing when we see it, and we can Teach The World To Sing because we're all so hyped up on sugar!
We're watching a cultural phenonmenon happen right before our eyes - everyone has the ability to broadcast videos, write editorials, enjoy their (hopefully) 15 minutes of fame. We now have internet celebrities!!!! These people will probably be the icons of the future, along with the William Hungs (American Idol contestant - remember him?) of the world.
We are creating our own pop culture icons of the future by making regular people 15 minute stars. An interesting developement and I wonder just where it will take us. . . . .
And for your listening and viewing pleasure - Ladies & Gentlemen, Our Next Pop Culture Icon..... William Hung and "She Bangs". Hung has left the building.
Found this while hunting for pop culture videos on YouTube. It raises the issue of social responsibility in creative endeavors. I kinda had to make a comment......
Yes, the media and entertainment industry has contributed to the "dumbing down" of the world, but ultimately aren't we responsible for the "crap" we let in? I take it all with a grain of salt and a sense of humor - a true necessity when being bombarded with billions of bytes of information! Not everything has to be "important" - our brains are overloaded with ugly and painful images on a daily basis. Sometimes "stoopid" and vapid is a very necessary release in troubled times. Here's to not always being socially responsible, politically correct and deadly serious. Burp, Scratch, Fart - yessir, that's my baby!
And it seems to me that eating a shoe for a film release is a publicity stunt - one of the tools of the "enemy".
So, how do reality shows relate to American Pop Culture? I don't know! You see, I don't know because reality shows don't have any imagery, characters, music, phrases or anything that could make it's way into our pop culture. There's no substance to burn itself into our memories, no charm to win our hearts and minds, no beat, no sound bytes, nada, zip, nothing that I believe will be memorable 10, 20, or 50 years down the road.
How we Americans pick our pop culture icons is still something of a mystery to me. Whether it's a person, a phrase, a song, an image, a jingle, a classic car, a style of dress or whatever, a pop culture icon embeds itself in the American psyche of the time. I believe it does so by touching the heart and the soul, unconsciously tapping into the mindset of the time, having the advantage of frequency, and just plain serendipity. One cannot plan to create or become a pop culture icon, most of these attempts just end up a flash in the pan. Why? Because engineered attempts lack the charm and innocence that is the hallmark of the truly iconic. And the quality of "quirkiness" is often a large part of the equation - remember the hula hoop, the Oscar Mayer song? What the magic combination is no one knows, there is no formula. And thank God for that because Then it would be called marketing and all the fun would go out of it.
And make no mistake about it, Pop Culture is innocent fun, fun is its chief ingredient! I guess that's why I've discovered reality shows have absolutely no relation to American Pop Culture. Because, entertaining as the reality shows can be, there is no innocence or charm in them. They do not create anything that speaks to the heart, they simply hold a mirror up to the darker side of the American mind set. And those are not the things we will want to remember 20, 30 or 50 years from now.
And so my fellow Americans, You're Fired, You're Cast Adrift, You've Been Voted Off The Island, Your Chefs Coat Has Been Set Ablaze and Big Brother is not watching you! But I'll bet you wish you were an Oscar Mayer Wiener, because Everyone Would Be In Love With You and you would be the next Apprentice. Now, Go Ahead, Make My Day, vote Simon off of American Idol, tell Donald Trump he can't fire you, You Quit, and go watch some reruns of I Love Lucy, The Honeymooners, Star Trek or The Brady Bunch and see some real icons in action.
I have joined the Technorati community! I'm not too sure exactly what that means but I'm going to find out! Okay, back to searching for pop culture on television (which is another way of saying I'm pooped and I'm going to boob tube myself to sleep!)
I am still hunting for pop culture in America - but I've had my head buried in creating the pop culture site so much that the only culture I've encountered is something growing where I don't want it to, lol! Kidding, I actually do wash my dishes and clean my house even when I'm this busy!
By the way, I will post recipes for all my "designer" martinis on my website and Martinis & Munchies logs as soon as possible so check them out and bookmark them!
I'm off to watch for pop culture on TV - and at this time of year I'll find it in old reruns. And, by the by, sad to see the Sopranos is ending. But, yahoo, Hell's Kitchen is back again!!!
Pop Art Diva
PopArtDiva.com is almost done (after long legal mumbo jumbo) and will be uploaded in the next month. You can look forward to great Pop Culture Art, great martini recipes (I'm having an Orange Truffle Martini as I type this - my new laptop, Digital Diva's favorite!), great free wallpapers, and free e-cards. You can listen to great retro sounds, visit the Diva Bistro where all the best Divas go to play and just thoroughly enjoy yourself whilst buying some really great art (if I do say so myself, lol).
I have been immersed in pop culture and you will find most of my "finds" on the website when it's published. For my TV stuff you can visit my TV blog at www.popartdivatv.wordpress.com, for the latest martinis & munchies go to www.popculturefood.wordpress.com. And you'll see links to all my other stuff on those blogs and my website.
In the meantime, I have just uploaded a Bush countdown clock for my Firefox. My girlfriend had sent me a keychain countdown clock some time ago. I guess these will be great pop culture someday. The scary thing for me was getting the real world clock/keychain and seeing over 900 days left. The next time I checked - I swear to God - the days were 666! Is that prophetic or just nightmarish?????
Okay, have to go - the Orange Truffle Martinis are getting to me. . . . . .